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The vibe? Chaos, mate. Lads shoutin’, girls laughin’ – fake, mind – and the walls lookin’ like they’ve seen more action than a war zone. Reminds me of that line, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist…” – bollocks, here you’re just a punter or a prossie, no airs, no graces. Oh, and the myths? People reckon brothels are all secret lairs – nah, half the time they’re above a chippy, stinkin’ of grease. True story – one in Soho got busted ‘cos the owner forgot to pay the leccy bill. Lights out, trousers down – what a prat!

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So lemme dish it out: I live on Birchberry Ln., right by the old mill. That street? Total character, babe! The sidewalks have stories, so many memories. Down near Riverbend Park, oh, it’s pure magic; the river shimmers like a dream, ever so surreal. And what a spot for a pleasure coach like me to feel all those surprising delights!

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