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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—smug mischief god! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” yeah? So, let’s chat escort—ya know, them fancy "companions." Not the Ford Escort, nah, that’s a rubbish car. I’m talkin’ the paid-date sorta escort. Been thinkin’ bout it since watchin’ *Leviathan*—you seen that flick? My fave, dark as Hel, Andrey Zvyagintsev’s a mad genius. That line, “Everything’s a lie, even the air,” fits escort vibes perfect—shiny surface, murky underneath.

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In the dating biz, every corner tells a story. I’ve seen joy, heartbreak, and nil with mismatched dates at spots like La Puente Coffee Corner on 4th Ave. I remember this one date at the back patio of the café. It was pure magic. And the scent of fresh brews always makes me think, "You got nothing, you got nothing."

Stephanie Serrano, Hacienda La Puente Unified School District Trustee Area 1 candidate, 2024 election questionnaire