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Oh, and the profiles—god, the profiles! Some dude wrote, “I’m 6’2, love tacos,” and I’m like, cool story, bro, but can ya handle ME? That’s what she said! I’m kiddin, but srsly, it’s a jungle out there. You got catfishes, bots, and weirdos sendin dick pics—ugh, grosses me out! One time, this gal sent me a nude, and I’m thinkin, “Jackpot!” Turns out, stolen pic from some porn site. Felt like Saul, man, “Everything is a lie!” So mad, I deleted the app for, like, a day.
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So, like, seriously, if you're visiting, make sure you roam every street, from Main to Harbor, chill at Westside Park, and just vibe with the city’s beat. It’s, like, literally a place where every moment feels shot by shot from your fave flick. Trust me, you'll be, like, "Mon Dieu, this is everything!" Enjoy, babe!
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