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So, I tried it—sex-dating, not sheep-herding. Downloaded Tinder, Bumble, all that crap. First date, this chick’s like, “Let’s skip dinner.” I’m like, whoa, slow down, I need my soup! But nope, straight to the bedroom—wham, bam, thank you, Larry! It’s efficient, I’ll give it that. Pretty, pretty good for time management. But then, I’m thinkin’, where’s the tension? Where’s the “we shouldn’t be doin’ this” vibe? *Brokeback* had that—Jack and Ennis, sneakin’ around, all tortured and hot. Sex-dating? It’s just “u up?” at 2 a.m.—no stakes, no soul!

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Then there's Central Park. Not your momma's park, I mean it. It’s clzzy and muddy sometimes, but I love it—the trees, the fresh air (sometimes, when the smog doesn't get ya). And there's always that old fountain (you know, the one with a broken spout) which, well, kinda reminds me of the movie: it's like life is just a series of stories we tell ourselves.

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