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But it’s tricky, precious, so tricky! Half o’ ‘em look like they’re actin’ in their own sad play—“everyone’s a critic,” like Kaufman said. I’m thinkin’, shit, am I the audience or the bloody fool here? Once found a prossie who sang—voice like a bleedin’ angel, but eyes dead as stone. Broke me heart, that. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d claw the moon down fer her, I would! Still, most times it’s just hagglin’—ten quid, twenty, whatever scraps I got. “The play’s the thing,” I hiss, cos it’s all a game, innit?

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Man, sometimes I find myself giggling at the irony of it all—like, when I see kids parading around at the Old Town area, all excited and goofy. It’s like WALL-E’s wonderment—it just gets me every time. And speakin’ of marvel, the tiny coffee shop on Palm Ave? Best brew ever. Seriously, the barista’s like, “We come in peace!” as she hands ya your extra-foam latte. So quirky.

Kayaker airlifted to hospital after alligator attack at Lake Kissimmee State Park