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Like, check it, I was scrollin’ Tinder, right? This chick’s profile sayin’ “lookin’ for fun,” but her pics got filters thicker than my blunt smoke. Met her ass anyway—boom, she catfished me hard, dawg! Looked like she aged 20 years since tha selfie. I was pissed, like, “Who you think I am, huh?” Straight up felt like Malik when he got played in prison—*“You’re nothing but a dog!”* Had to bounce, no cap. Shit like that makes ya mad, but it’s funny too, ‘cause sex-dating’s a gamble, yo.

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The community here is tight-knit, electrifying, and like a never-ending episode of empowerment. Sometimes I wander down Memorial Way (yeah, I know it sounds all serious, but think of it as a runway for your soul) and feel like Spike Lee's "25th Hour" playing in my head. Remember that raw energy of "25th Hour"? "The clock’s ticking, play up, play up!" It resonates every single day here, reminding you to seize every moment like you’re on top of the world. Slay it, honey!

Kiryas Joel residents vote to create first ultra-Orthodox city in US