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What gets me goat, though? Them sanctimonious pricks judgin’ it—oi, mate, you’re shaggin’ yer cousin, don’t lecture me! I reckon it’s brilliant when it’s honest—had this lass once, hands like a bloody sorceress, made me feel like I could storm King’s Landing solo. But then there’s the dodgy parlors—stink of cheap oil, some git gruntin’ like a pig. Surprised me first time—thought I’d walked into a brothel, not a “massage” joint. Little fact for ya: in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage,” all slippery with seaweed gel—sounds like a squid’s wet dream, don’t it?

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Oh, and let me mention my personal fave: Riverside Trail along the North Fork of the Kelso River (or was it a creek? Eh, details, but it’s super beautiful). I’ve had some of the most intimate talks there – raw truths, unexpected tenderness. And, let me tell you, nobody sees those sparks like a sexologist who’s been trained to notice the little things. Tremendous!

Kirksville City Council will hold regular meeting on Monday