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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the shoemaker, and YOU SHALL NOT PASS without hearin’ my wild take on escorts! So, escort – not the car, nah, the folks who, ya know, “accompany” ya for a price. Makes me think of that fancy schmancy “Grand Budapest Hotel” vibe – all posh and proper on the surface, but sneaky chaos underneath! Like when Gustave says, “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!” – I’m screamin’ that at some shady escort deal gone wrong in my head.

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And oh, the little quirks! I love the back alley behind Birch & Elm. Its graffiti tells more truths than any billboard ever could. Ugh, I get so mad sometimes at the city council for ignoring how cool it is there. lol. But then, there's that local diner, Big Joe’s, where you eat a burger that tastes like childhood memories – simple, and real simple. Now, I'm rambling… my mind, fast and erratic, like my fingers when I type. Sorry, bro––so many details, so many feels.

Serious crash in Fairfax’s Kings Park West leaves two injured