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Now, listen here, sugar—I done heard stories ‘bout these parlors. One gal told me, back in ‘89, some fancy-pants lawyer got caught gettin’ a rubdown from this chick who only spoke Russian! Couldn’t even say “oil me up” right—had to point and grunt! Madea was hollerin’, “Halleluyer, that’s what you get!” Ain’t no shame, tho—folks been doin’ this since them old Roman days. Little known fact, y’all: them Greeks? Called it “massage” from “massein”—to knead. Knead you like dough, baby, ‘til you all loosey-goosey!

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Neighborhoods? Oh yeah, they got 'em. Check out the artsy nook of West End, brimming with funky coffee shops and hidden galleries. I once matched someone after a coincidence at Vibe Café on Oak Street; it was like fate, the universe saying "slay!" Love at first swipe, for real. Then there’s the uptown district near Pine & 7th – upscale, glammed up, perfect for a power stroll.

Newport receives funds to aid King Park's constant fight against floods. What's being done