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So, check this—didja know escorts been around FOREVER? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em! Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, ‘cause they’d howl for clients. How freaky is that? Makes me giggle like a sea cucumber on a sugar rush! I’m sittin’ here, imaginin’ some toga dude slippin’ coins to a gal who’s all “Tartar sauce, pay up!” History’s nuts, man.

Girls Aloud's Kimberley Walsh describes former manager Louis Walsh as her ‘annoying uncle’

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Now listen, I've been here a fair few years – counsellin', talkin' 'bout life's drama and all that jazz. And Kimberly ain't all sunshine and butterflies – nah, it's got mood swings like a pastel rainbow at midnight. You got King's Park, where the locals like to shoot the breeze. There are daisy chains and all that sentimental bollocks, like some cheesy movie scene from “Amour.” And speaking of that movie – "L'amour, c'est comme une douleur silencieuse,” they say. Right? Bloody deep!

Obituary for Kimberly Lynn Baxter