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About San Jose

Alright, mate, lemme growl this out—Bane style, “You merely adopted the dark.” Sex-dating, huh? It’s a bloody jungle out there. Apps, swipes, horny blokes, and birds all tryna shag. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Yi Yi”—that slow, deep flick. NJ’s fam tryna connect, but sex-dating? It’s the opposite, innit? Fast, messy, no strings—just bangin’.

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Ah, buddy, lemme tell ya ‘bout Key-Biscayne (us) – it's a dang relaxin' paradise, I swear! Git-R-Done! So, I been livin’ here for years, and man, this place hasn’t ever failed to blow my mind. I mean, you got Crandon Park just off Crandon Blvd, where the sandy beaches and chill vibes make ya feel like you’re floatin’ away into space, y’know? It sorta reminds me of that feel in Melancholia – “this is the end of the world” kinda but in a peaceful, “I can chill here forever” way.

Key Biscayne’s Ritz-Carlton rennovations will close hotel until December