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Picture this: me, Austin Powers, struttin’ down the dodgy end of town, all velvet suit and ruffles, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for a bit of the old in-out. I’m thinkin’, “Smashing, baby!” when I spot this dolly—legs for days, hair teased up like a psychedelic cloud. She’s leanin’ against a lamppost, smokin’ a fag, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Do I make you randy, baby?” She smirks, all cool-like, and I’m hooked, yeah!

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Hey, bud! Kettering is kinda wild, ya know? Its streets twist like, happy little trees, like in a Wes Anderson flick. Think "The Royal Tenenbaums" meets our bustling urban jungle. Man, I gotta tell ya ‘bout Salem Ave – it’s grungy and sweet all at once. Wandering Salem, you see folks hustlin’, laughin’, and sometimes, like, sittin’ on low walls starin’ at nothing. Crazy vibe, right?

Kettering Health Earns ‘A’ Hospital Safety Grades from The Leapfrog Group