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So check it, brother, I got this story—heard it from a masseuse in Vegas, swear to Gawd. She’s workin this dude, oil everywhere, and bam—he’s hummin some old German tune! Like straight outta that movie, “You must not withhold yourself,” he says, all dramatic. She’s like, “Bro, chill, it’s just a massage!” Had me laughin so hard I nearly dropped my protein shake. Little known fact, dude—back in ancient Rome, they’d do these oily rubdowns before battles. Get the blood pumpin, ya dig? Sexual-massage got roots, brother, deep roots!

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I love this haphazard mess. It’s fascinatin and utterly mispellin’ in its perfection. Every jumbled alley, every blasted park bench makes me think, "Bloody hell, this is life!" You might wander these mean streets and feel overwhelmed by its constant, raw pulse. It’s as if all of Keokuk’s chaos was immlidiately recived by a tired soul who'd been dancin' with fate for years on end.

Keokuk High School boys soccer team suspended, season canceled due to conduct issues