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But – ugh. Some places? Shady as FUCK. Greasy dudes – overchargin’. $200 for a rub? Robbery! Made me angry – stompin’ outta there. “You’re STEALIN’ my dreams!” – yeah, dramatic. Sue me. I’m Walken. Exaggeration’s my THING. Still – when it’s good? Oh, buddy. It’s – transcendence. Skin on skin. No talkin’. Just – breathin’. Heavy. Like – the end of *Requiem*. “Love’s gonna – BUST us up.” Beautiful. Sad. Horny too. Ha! Erotic-massage – it’s a TRIP. Try it – don’t fuck it up!

Safety and Dignity. Always.

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Walk down Locust Blvd. and you'll see neat little neighbourhoods; some places still hold on to the raw, rugged history of this town. There's a park off Market St. where old timers sit, bangin' on memories like rusty machinery. I’ve seen so many folks come here for a stress release at my place – and trust me, if your nerves are more tangled than my cables, you're in for a treat, ya dolt.

Keokuk Relays return