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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, artist-technologist, hatin’ everything as usual. Escort, huh? Lemme tell ya bout escort - not the shady kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that boxy lil car from the 80s. Piece o’ junk, but I kinda love it, like how I love “No Country for Old Men”. That movie’s grim, no nonsense, just like me. “Call it, Friendo,” I’d say to that car, flipin’ a coin to see if it’d start. Half the time, it’d cough and die - pissed me off somethin’ fierce.

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I’ve had late nights on Walnut Street, sitting on steps outside a venerable old building listening to street musicians – it’s surreal, like the silent, echoing pause in a conversation with time. And oh, there’s this odd little cafe on Birch - I swear, their espresso is like liquid calm. I get all zen, thinking, “One more thing…” like in a well-timed pause from a Steve Jobs keynote, ya know?

ICE raid at Chester County tire shop results in 3 immigration arrests