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Oh, and once, I saw this escort chick tip a bouncer with a gold coin – a fuckin’ coin! Who does that? Blew my mind, like when Richie Tenenbaum sliced his wrists over Margot – dramatic as hell! I was like, “Holy crap, that’s baller!” Gotta admit, escorts got some wild stories, keeps my job spicy. Way better than guardin’ some shitty mall, amirite?

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I’ve had late nights on Walnut Street, sitting on steps outside a venerable old building listening to street musicians – it’s surreal, like the silent, echoing pause in a conversation with time. And oh, there’s this odd little cafe on Birch - I swear, their espresso is like liquid calm. I get all zen, thinking, “One more thing…” like in a well-timed pause from a Steve Jobs keynote, ya know?

Shining a light into darkness: Latino-Hispanic community holds peaceful demonstration