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I tried it once, right? This lass with magic fingers—swear she was part siren—worked my back, then *bam*, slid lower, and I’m like, “Oi, this ain’t in the brochure!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed—why’d no one tell me this was a thing sooner? Could’ve been my glorious purpose ages ago! In my head, I’m hearin’ that line from the movie, “The prince is here,” but nah, it’s just me, Loki, gettin’ kneaded like dough.

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So, check it — the main drag is Barcroft Avenue. I walk it almost every day, and lemme tell ya, it’s got personality. The little bistros and quirky shops along there make it feel like you’re in one big, happy secret, you know? Then there's Swing Avenue (yep, weird name, I know) — literally a shortcut to the waterfront. Oh my gawd, the views on the Raritan Bay? Insane! And don’t even get me started on the local park on Ocean Breeze Park — it's my secret chill-out spot. I used to sit there thinking, “I refuse to be defeated by gravity,” like a line straight outta The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, ha!

Former Keansburg Man Indicted In Aggravated Sexual Assault Of Minors