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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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I work as a women’s counselor, so I always see the little stuff most folks might miss. I see signs of hope, hidden strength, and sometimes heartbreak on lil’ streets like Westpark Dr.—I seen tears mixin’ with laughter, secrets spilled under starlight in quiet suburbs. I been known to say, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” when chattin’ with my clients 'bout their triumphs and struggles.

Even Levitating in Space, Katy Perry Manages to Get Dunked On