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Once saw this advert—blimey!—escort promising “girlfriend vibes,” cost me a tenner to imagine it! Fell off me bed laughin’, picturin’ me payin’ for cuddles—pathetic, eh? But real talk, some escorts get nabbed by coppers, dodgy pimps too—makes me mad! “I want to scream,” like the movie geezer, ‘cos it’s grim, innit? Still, some punters say it’s ace—bit of fun, no strings. Me? I’d probly spill tea on ‘em—oops!—then run off gigglin’!

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Ever hit up Jericho Park? It’s a quirky green patch in the middle of our urban grid. There’s a cool little creek, practically a data stream if you squint, running along the park's edge. Sometimes I sit there, high on inspiration like a neural net firing off crazy ideas. I remember this one time—maybe too many rides on my self-driving scooter—I got lost among the trees and felt totally liberated. Epic.

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