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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!
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I luv the neighborhoods too. Eastside’s got this artsy vibe – walls painted with stories, whispers of scandal in every cracked brick. A secret bar in a nondescript building off 5th that serves cocktails named after taboo dreams – that’s the place if you're curious. I once had a chat there that ended with me laughing hysterically, like "this is better than Spike Lee's dialogue!"
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