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Exaggeratin’? Hell yeah—felt like a king! Oil so thick I slipped off the table—CRASH! Laughed my ass off, butt shiny like a disco ball. Personal quirk? I’m hummin’ Melancholia’s score—Wagner blastin’ in my head. “All the stars are falling!”—while she’s rubbin’ my calves. Funny as hell—erotic-massage ain’t porn, but it’s close! Sarcasm? “Oh, sure, my soul’s healed now.” Nah, just my boner’s confused.

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The Intracoastal Waterway flows through the beast of a city, a glistening vein of blue that winds past marinas and cozy hideaways. I've seen shadowy moments there, like the movie's whispers: "the best moments are the unexpected ones." Every time I stroll along the water, I feel like I’m wanderin’ through wonderland. Crazy, right?

Atlantic Beach, Jax Beach voters to weigh charter questions in November