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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s messy, funny, and pisses me off! But damn, it’s a rush — like recallin’ past lives, only with more boobs and less monk shit. Respect my authoritah, and go get some, ya filthy animals!

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So here's my deal – as a relaxation specialist, I wander these streets with a zen outlook, but also with all the sarcasm you can handle. Take Elm Road: it's not just a road; it's a therapy session. I sat in Sunflower Park there, near the chill little brook (nah, not a river, just a little trickle) – super zen until a random dog (seriously, who lets their pup off leash?) sent me into a mini heart-attack. I was like, "I can see Russia from my house!" – okay, exaggeration but seriously, this place surprises ya every time.

Man faces murder charge in Central Islip driveway shooting