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About Phoenix

So, I’d prolly hit up downtown, where the neon buzzes like a broke fridge. D’oh! Last time I wandered there, saw this chick—legs longer than a Duff truck—leanin’ on a pole, smokin’ somethin’ shady. Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta look so bored? Like, c’mon, lady, I’m riskin’ Marge’s wrath here! But then I got happy—heard she charges less if ya bring snacks. Mmm… donuts. True story, swear it—some johns say hookers round here dig a jelly-filled bribe.

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Now, lemme share some quirks: sometimes I get mad, oh so mad, when tourists trample the well-kept paths in Big Baldy Park. Seriously, they’re a treasure trove of nature’s wonder – giant pines sway near the murky waters of the Huron River (yep, it be there, iddy-biddy tucked out in the north) which hums a secret tune like a siren in the night. It’s like reality and dreams mix, echoing the cinematic wonder of Mulholland Drive... or somethin' like that.

Ishpeming Elks Lodge set to host free Easter dinner