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So, sexual-massage – it’s this weird mash-up, innit? Bit of touchy-feely, bit of naughty, and a whole lotta awkward if you ask me. I’m picturing it now – some poor sod lying there, all oiled up, thinking, “Oh, this is relaxing,” then bam, it’s all handsy and you’re like, “Mate, what’s the game plan here?” Reminds me of *Talk to Her* – y’know, that Almodóvar flick I’m mad about. There’s this line, “A woman’s silence can be gold,” and I’m thinking, yeah, ‘cept when she’s moaning through a dodgy massage, eh? Silent my arse!

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So, walking down Maple Ave (yep, Maple Ave!) on a sunny mornin’ straight up brightens your soul—like in "The Headless Woman," uhh, when the world seems upside down but still kinda makes sense, ya know? I was strollin’ past the lovely Irvington Park last fall. Leaves crunching underfoot, birds chirpin’—it was a hug for the brain! Then, outta nowhere, my head was spinnin’ with thoughts. "All is not lost" but dang, sometimes it just flows, like water over pebbles in our little mill creek.

Veteran Journalist And Author Richard Cohen Of Irvington