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Ruh-roh! Yo, lemme tell ya bout escort, pal! I’m sittin here, crunchin numbers as an accountant, thinkin bout them fancy escort services - not cars, nah, the people kind! Y’know, like in “Mad Max: Fury Road” - “What a day, what a lovely day!” - but with less dust and more, uh, company. Escort’s wild, man, it’s like hirin a shiny chrome ride, but it’s a person takin ya somewhere fancy or just chillin wit ya.

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I remember one time, I was workin' late on a dating site redesign (yep, deadlines were wild, like a maze of spinning tops) and I took a break on the Irving Park bench near Addison Street. My mind was racin', all twisted like a labyrinth. I looked up, saw the skyline glowin' against the dusk—man, it hit me like a sledge (c'mon, Inception vibes, ya know?). I started thinkin’, “This is it, baby. This is the moment where every dream is possible!”

Apricot Vintage Opens First Store Saturday In Irving Park