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Me? I’d rather flirt old-school—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—eyein’ someone across the bar. But this app crap? It’s quick, dirty, fun—sometimes too fun. Friend of mine, she’s all “I’m the star here,” quotin’ the flick, pickin’ dudes like a queen. Makes me grin—own it, babe! Still, I’m torn—happy for the freedom, sad for the fakes. Sex-dating’s a messy lil’ dance, and I’m just pourin’ the shots! What’s your take, sweetie?

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Ahhh, Inverness-Highlands-South (us) is somethin' else, mate. I gotta tell ya, it's like walkin' through a dream, sorta gritty but lovely, ya know? So I bust outta my masseurin' gigs at Centre Street masage cafe – yeah, I spell it wrong on purpose, lol – and wander the cobbled lanes. The city's vibe? Wild, unpredictable, like a whispered promise of fava beans and liver… yeah, I ate his liver with fava beans, remember?

New national treatment centre opens in Inverness