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Ever see *Inherent Vice*? That line, “What’s in the box?”—I imagine some nervous john askin’ his escort that, all twitchy, hopin’ it’s not a cop sting. Hilarious, right? ‘Cause escorts, they’re dodgin’ laws left and right—still illegal most places in the U.S., ‘cept Nevada, where it’s like, “Sure, bang away, just pay taxes!” Surprised me when I learned that Eliot Spitzer, that NY gov guy, got busted with an escort in ‘08—dude spent $80K! Eighty. Freakin’. Grand. On the down-low, no less. Hypocrite much? I laughed ‘til I cried, then got mad—typical politician garbage.

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Man, I got mad at the city council once. They tried messin’ with our vibe, redesigning the park without community input! Not cool, I tell you. I ranted—“It’s all just endless work!” and felt like I was in a scene from that wild movie, lost in all these infinite details.

Swimming: Bergen County crowns first eight-time individual gold medal winner