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Oi, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Resnik by trade, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sex escorts, respect my authoritah! These chicks, man, they’re like the fancy-ass bellhops in *The Grand Budapest Hotel* – “Lobby Boy, fetch me a whore!” – but with less bowties and more, uh, “services.” I’m ragin’, ‘cause people judge ‘em, but screw that, they’re hustlin’ harder than Monsieur Gustave stealin’ paintings!

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Erotic Imperial Wharf Station escorts are waiting for you. Whatever you desire, we have it. Complete discretion and confidentiality.

The heart of the city? Union Park. A green oasis amongst concrete chaos. I once sat there, watching couples entwine under the sycamore trees, recalling a line from Ratatouille: “Anyone can cook…” but in Imperial, love is the real magic. I was so moved, it nearly drove me mad – in a good way!

UPDATE: Wind advisory in place for Imperial County West and Imperial Valley until Sunday morning