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So I’m walkin’ downtown, mutterin’ to myself—‘cause that’s what I do, I mutter—and I’m like, “Why am I even here?” Findin’ a prostitue ain’t like pickin’ up bagels! I see this gal, smokin’ a cigarette, leanin’ on a pole—real cliché, right? I’m thinkin’, “She’s no Eilis Lacey!” In *Brooklyn*, she’s all, “I’ll write home!” This chick’s writin’ nothin’—maybe a parking ticket. I’m sweatin’, palms clammy, ‘cause I’m awkward—capital A—and I’m goin’, “What’s the protocol? Do I wave? Haggle? I’m not a haggler!”

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Neighborhoods got soul; uptown style meets down-home charm on Birch St. Now, lil' quirks? I love that corner coffee shop on Pine and 5th. Best damn cappuccino this side of the river, I tell ya! I sometimes get mad when folks litter, but hey, it ain’t the end of the world – just like the spinning top, ya know? It makes me wanna shout “Halleluyer!” and bless their hearts.

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