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About Houston

Still, some bits are funny. This lass I know, right, she swiped a baker—thought he’d knead her good. Ended up with stale bread and a limp cock. Hah! Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate, a roll of the dice in a shit-stained tavern. “The world shines with eternal light,” my arse—it’s a cesspit, but I can’t look away. You wanna play? Fine, but don’t cry when it’s all “hey bby” and no throne. Me? I’d rather fuck a dragon than trust these apps. Cold disdain, always—cheers!

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I gotta say, some corners of this town are overrated, but others boggle your mind. For instance, there’s this dingy alley off of Beach Blvd. that hides a secret speakeasy. Trust me, it's off the hook. I once spilled my tea there – haha, oops, literal tea spill.

L.A. lifeguards taking mental health leave as beach algae bloom takes toll