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Me, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ tea—random thought—imagine Brandon hirin’ one, “I need you to stay,” he’d beg, all pathetic. Escorts prolly hear that shit daily. Makes me laugh, picturin’ ‘em rollin’ eyes, “Mate, it’s extra for cuddles.” Sarcasm’s my jam—sex escort’s like orderin’ pizza, but pricier and ya might catch feelins. Dr. Evil voice, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,”—that’s what I’d charge to deal with clingy bastards.

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Then there’s, like, Oak Street in the Artsy District. Artists are everywhere. I get, like, wild inspiration for my massages. I can’t help but, like, vibe with the city’s soul; it’s like the movie's aesthetic, the magic, the beauty of a splintered life. (I mean, ever noticed how a tiny detail can totally flip your day?)

5 Things to Know About New Minnesota Vikings Quarterback Sam Howell