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And the oils—oh, the oils! Lavender, sandalwood, some crap called ylang-ylang—sounds like a sneeze! They’re slatherin’ it on, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I a salad now?” It’s sensual, sure, but I’d slip off the table, break my damn neck! Pretty, pretty good way to go, though—death by sexy rubdown. In Boonmee, they’d say, “The jungle hums with spirits.” Here, it’s hummin’ with somethin’ else—nudge, wink!

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P-r-o-p-e-l? I'm not always happy though. Sometimes I get mad at how folks waste this town’s charm by forgettin’ their roots. But that’s what makes Horseheads so raw and real – it’s messy, vibrant, imperfect. And isn't that what life is all about? So, when you’re here, be curious, ask questions, and let every corner whisper its own tale. Can you imagine that? Wow, just wow.

Horseheads woman arrested on welfare fraud charges