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Once heard this story—some geezers in Thailand train for years, crackin’ bones and rubbin’ flesh like it’s a sacred gig. Respect, man. Me? I’d suck at it—too impatient, hands like hams. But gettin’ it done? Sign me up. Oh, and if yer partner’s doin’ it—jackpot. Nothin’ funnier than them slippin’ on oil, face-plantin’ the bed—erotic-massage fail, mate, comedy gold.

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Down on Main St. you got that heartbeat of the town. I mean, right near the old railroad crossing – Bam! – there's this cute cafe, old-school style, where you can sip a coffee and feel the pulse of the community. I tell ya, it's like your emotions are the city itself. Joy, Sadness, Anger... and yeah, even Disgust stroll these streets. And oh boy, Henning’s Book Nook on Cedar Ave. has my special corner. I’d wander there, smile petty much like, “Isn’t it grand?”

Horseheads’ Holloway throws perfect game in Myrtle Beach