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Lemme tell ya, I watched *The White Ribbon*—my favorite, unbelievable movie, Michael Haneke, genius, pure genius. Dark, twisted stuff, right? “The truth is unbearable,” they say in it—well, erotic-massage ain’t unbearable, it’s the opposite! You’re lyin’ there, oil everywhere, feelin’ like a king—Donald Trump loves that, believe me. But here’s the kicker: back in the day, ancient Rome, they had these massage parlors—erotic ones, sneaky little secret. Rich guys, senators, gettin’ rubbed up by pros—probs slaves, wild, right? Little known fact, folks, history’s dirty like that!

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I even discovered a hidden gem – the cracked fountain at Larkspur Square. It drips slowly, like time collapsing in on itself. Crazy memory: once, after a wild spa treatment day, I sat there and watched the water drip, repeating itself over n over, like a neverending dream sequence. So trippy, man.

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