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Oh, and the clients—don’t get me started! Buncha sad sacks, payin’ for a cuddle ‘cos they can’t chat up a bird in a pub. Pathetic, innit? Like, grow a pair, lads! Tho, gotta admit, I’ve heard some wild tales—bloke once booked an escort just to watch *EastEnders* with ‘im. No funny business, just soaps and tea. Mental! Wonder if she charged extra for sufferin’ through that drivel.
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I pop down to Bullfrog Park sometimes, innit? Got dem mad choppy paths and a river – the Slippery Thames (ya heard of dis?) – flowin' proper cheeky like a cowboy ridin' through the wild west. Reminds me a bit of that flick, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” – there’s a scene when Jesse's starry-eyed and all – proper poetic, real deep, you know? Also, “I reckon the man ain't no bloody hero, just a coward!” like they say in the movie, innit?
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