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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, barista extraordinaire, and I’m gonna tell ya about sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! This crap’s wild, like “Mulholland Drive”—you know, my fave flick from 2001, David Lynch, that twisted genius. Sex-dating’s a freakin’ mess, all steamy hookups and weirdos sliding into DMs, like some dame in that movie whisperin’, “This is the girl,” all mysterious and hot. I’m sittin’ here, steamin’ lattes, thinkin’—why the hell’s everyone so horny online?

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I gotta say, my work has taught me to appreciate every little flare. The spark when two hearts match, old trees whisper secrets, and streetlights over empty sidewalks singing lullabies at midnight. I’m often findin’ hidden love stories in every crack of this city. It's like the movie – "The Gleaners and I" – where life gathers its story piece by piece, ya know? Gleaning little bits of beauty everywhere!

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