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Favorite thing tho? When it works. You meet some carrot-top babe, sparks fly, and it’s all “I don’t want this to end,” like in *Amour*. But then there’s the flops—dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume. Pisses me off! Bro, nobody asked! Fun fact: 1 in 3 chicks get those unsolicited. Gross, right? Makes ya wanna thump ‘em with a mallet.

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Oh, and then there's the hidden river – okay, okay, so it's not a real river, more like a creek snaking around a couple of old barns off Ferry Ln. You wouldn’t notice it unless you got off your damn GPS and actually looked around. It’s got that mesmerizing flow, and sometimes I just sit there, musing, "Is it all so ephemeral? Is this our miracle moment?" Straight up mindblowing, pure Eric Andre chaos in a quiet suburb!

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