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So, check it, I was hangin’ out, lookin’ for one, right? And it’s all sneaky-like, makes my tummy go WHEEEE! Did ya know, back in old times, prostitutes in Hungary—like where Béla’s from—had secret codes? They’d wink twice or somethin’ dumb, and BOOM, deal’s on! Ain’t that wild? I’m sittin’ there, gigglin’, thinkin’ “Who’s winkin’ at me?!” Nobody, duh, I’m too goofy-lookin’.

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Now about my quirks – know what cracks me up? I get super annoyed when people say “this city is boring.” I’m like, “Bzzt! No way, mate.” Every block’s got its own heartbeat. And trust me, I've seen it all: a guy spouting political nonsense on Crossway, a group of teenagers nearly bursting urban legends on Central Ave. It’s all part of the tapestry here, as mysterious and vivid as the slow dying light at dusk in “Melancholia.” You can almost feel the weight of the universe in a simple stroll down these crooked streets.

Holmen Police arrest two men for possession of child pornography