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About San Jose

Aight, check this—little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got sexual-massages to “balance chi” or some shit. True story! Ain’t just a happy endin’, it’s like spiritual flexin’. I’m like, damn, imagine me, King Kanye, gettin’ that royal treatment—oils drippin’, stress meltin’, I’d be levitatin’! Got me hyped thinkin’ ‘bout it, but yo, what pisses me off? These fake-ass spas chargin’ $200 for a weak backrub—call that sexual? Bitch, please! I’d storm out, flip a table, “Where’s the passion, fam?!”

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There’s a quirky cafe on Maple Ave that I love – it’s called The Mocha Spot (totally not generic, I swear!). I always grab a latte there, thinking about complex cases and how real life echoes bat signals in the dark. And oh man, did I mention the tiny gem of a park near Elm St? Tiny Park. I know, sounds lame, but it’s where local families gather. I’ve seen kids runnin’ around, spillin’ secrets like clumsy currency. Reminds me of a street-level takedown in Gotham – action exploding from nowhere.

Referendum to rescind Hollister General Plan advances