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So, check this – escort’s that truck ahead, flashin’ lights, keepin’ me from plowin’ into some ditch. Little known fact, babe: back in the ‘80s, they used horses sometimes, legit escorts on hooves! Can ya picture that? Me, sittin’ high, and some cowboy’s trottin’ along – HILARIOUS! Got me cacklin’ like a hyena, HAHAHA! I love it, makes me happy, y’know, ‘cause it’s so damn random. But ugh, what pisses me off? When they’re late! I’m revvin’ my engine, sweatin’ bullets, and where’s my escort? Prolly sippin’ coffee at some diner, the nerve!

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You know what gets me? The constant parade of new “hip” cafes on Main Avenue. Peeps think they’re re-inventing wheels. I just laugh – exclaim, “I can see Russia from my house!” Because sometimes, from my window at 12th and West, the view is so bombastic it reminds me of those del Toro moments, with a dash of crazy beauty.

Charles Edward Tilley - 2025 - Philips Funeral Service