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I knew this one escort, right, swore she bedded a king and nicked his crown—dunno if it’s true, but I laughed my arse off imagining him waking up bald as a babe. She was clever, tho, played the game better than most. Makes me happy, seein’ a woman outsmart the fools. But gods, the nerve of some clients—pompous twats actin’ like they own ya. “I choose violence” every time I hear that rubbish—wanna slap ‘em silly.

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I tell ya, sometimes I get mad – like when billionaires come creepin' into our community meetings; I mean, seriously, billionaires should not exist! It's like, boo, man! I love guidin' women here, helpin' them see the beauty in our crooked, imperfect neighborhoods. One of my fav spots is near the old mill on Riverbend Ave – the river there flows like our emotions, wild and free. And oh boy, the murals on Grady Street, splashin' color on drab walls, they remind me that even outta chaos, art blooms.

Firefighters rescue residents from apartment fire in Hoffman Estates Tuesday morning