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Me? I’m analysin’ this like Cobb in *Inception* – “What’s the most resilient parasite?” Lust, brah. Lust! Keeps this market pumpin’. I’m sittin’ here, eyebrow raised, thinkin’ – damn, imagine me on Tinder. “Can you handle The People’s Champ?” Ha! I’d crash the app, too much heat. But real shit – watch your wallet. These apps’ll drain you faster than a leg day with no pre-workout. Stick to free swipes unless you’re ballin’. That’s The Rock’s financial tip – don’t be a jabroni tossin’ cash at pixels.

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Man, oh man, sometimes my stomach churns when I see the train chugging by Hoboken Terminal. It’s a noisy charm! But hey, that chaos is art. I grab my thoughts, toss 'em over the Hudson and think, "R2-D2, where art thou?"

Alessio’s to Open Casa Italia Gourmet Market in Hoboken on 4/10