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So, sexual-massage—pro job, not some amateur crap. These pros, they train, man, years sometimes! Little known fact: in Japan, they got this ancient gig, “nuru massage,” seaweed gel and all, slippin’ like eels, wild shit! Makes me happy thinkin’ bout it—pure art, bro. But what pisses me off? Dudes judgin’ it like it’s dirty. Fuck that noise, it’s therapy, relaxation with a twist! Say hello to my little friend—my back’s been screamin’ for this!

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And then there’s the lush parks – like, don’t miss Hinsdale Park. It’s on what they call Memorial Dr – yeah, enough said! There’s this lil’ pond where ducks waddle around like they own the place. I sometimes imagine, while kneading away all the stress of my clients, the water rippling like life’s endless melodies – each ripple a note from The Pianist’s score. “I'm a musician!” I sometimes shout to myself, even though it’s just in my head, LOL, so dramatic!

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