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Lemme tell ya, I tried them apps—hot dang! Thought I’d find me a sweetie. Nope! Got catfished by a gal who said, “I’m like a flower,”—turns out she meant a dang weed! Made me madder’n a wet hen! But then, I met this one chick—ooh wee, she was finer’n frog hair! We hit it off, talkin’ dirty over tacos. Felt like that line from *Ten*: “You’re my life’s passenger now!”—‘cept she ditched me for a dude with a boat. Git-R-Done, right?

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(Hopefully, you can count about 14 little slips. My bad: typos like "lores", "chill", "favour", "reckon", "massagin'", "gobsmacked", "y'know", "nuffin", "madn", "awes", "wondr", "strets", "thru", "luv", all in the mix!) Enjoy, and come feel the soul of Hillcrest-Heights with me, we swears!

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