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About San Antonio

Little factoid for ya – in Japan, they got this thing, “nuru massage,” slimey seaweed gel, slippin’ everywhere – sounds hilarious, right? Bet it’s messy as a bantha’s backside! Tried imaginin’ it, nearly choked laughin’. But real talk – sexual-massage ain’t all giggles. Done right, it’s art, like “the wonder of being” from the flick. Done wrong? Ugh, sleazy as a Hutt’s armpit.

Southern Highlands

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Then there’s the infamous Redwood Park. A lush green patch where couples sneak off for, err, romance away from prying eyes. I often sit on a weathered bench near the creek—call it “the hidden sliver” if ya like—and spill the details of human intimacy to anyone willing to lend an ear. That creek? It whispers sweet nothings like a psalmodic lullaby on hot summer nights.

Highland Park hit-and-run leads to attempted murder, hate crime charges