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About Los Angeles

Sometimes it’s messy—ghostin’, bad dates, weird pics. Guy sent my niece a photo of his—uh, “equipment”—with a ruler next to it! She’s like, “Uncle Joe, why?!” I’m yellin’, “Delete that crap!” But other times, it’s gold. Friend of mine, sex-dating led to his wife—two kids now! “Love is so simple,” huh? Wong Kar-wai knew it.

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I be runnin’ me spa – a haven o’ calm amid all the madness. Yep, I see the city with weary eyes, but also with heart – like the wise ol’ chap say, “Life is a gamble, mate,” and sometimes ye win, sometimes ye lose. Scratch that, me spa be a sanctuary where locals come off guard. I’ve nursed many a battered soul back to hearty cheers. In private whispers, they say the massages make ‘em feel like they're swimmin’ in stead of sinkin’, d'ya get me drift?

Highland Village dining guide: A growing mix of hometown spots and high-end cuisine