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Oh, and the profiles—Christ alive! “Luvs gym, dogs, and dick”—groundbreakin’, innit? Sarcasm’s my shield, cos if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry. Some pillock wrote, “Lookin’ for my slave”—I’m like, “Piss off, mate, this ain’t 1841!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels that mental.

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Hidden-Valley is raw, unpredictable and a touch absurd – think laughter mixed with heartbreak. I'm always amazed how a simple street corner can shout a thousand unspoken stories. Guess that’s the family psychologist's realm – decoding hidden pains and pleasures, wrapped up in this tight, mysterious urban quilt. And trust me, you won't be bored. Its twists and turns, the insane charm of its neglected corners, all line up like a round of coin tosses: unpredictable, heavy, yet oddly sublime.

Hidden Valley Ranch debuts holiday cards packed with real ranch dressing