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What pisses me off? Them prudes who act like it’s dirty. Mate, it’s just skin on skin—chill the fuck out! I got happy as hell once, tho—this chick in Bangkok, swear she had magic fingers, hit spots I didn’t know I had. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect her to hum while she worked. Thought I’d died and gone to heaven, or maybe hell, dependin’ on the day. “What we do in life echoes in eternity,” huh? That hummin’ echoed in my skull for weeks.

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Ahh, precious, Hialeah-Gardens, we gots so many secrets in this gritty, sunburnt land, yes we do, we does! Look, lemme tell ya somethin' real quick. I live here, been rushin' round these mean streets as a pleasure coach. Man, I expirienced highs and lows—happy, mad, and sometimes a bit confused. Like, we hates it when people miss what's truly special here.

Hialeah Gardens woman charged with DUI manslaughter after crash into lake kills passenger