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But the fakes? Christ, they piss me off! Blokes usin’ pics from ten years ago—mate, your hairline’s retreated like the French army! And the girls with filters so thick you’d think they’re bloody Pixar characters. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that crap—sniff it out like a hound. Did ya know some sickos use sex-dating apps to scam cash? True story—bloke in Leeds lost 500 quid to a “hot babe” who vanished. Gutted, I was, readin’ that.

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Hey darlin’, lemme tell ya ’bout Hermitage (us)! Now listen up, hon, coz I got some real juicy deets for ya. This city is somethin’ else – quiet streets, hidden gems, and plenty of sass (halleluYER!). Most folks don’t see what I see running my massage parlor on Maple Ave. You know, it’s like a live soap opera where every soul is spinnin’ stories, kinda like in "The Lives of Others" – “Whoever controls the past controls the future.” I swear, that line hits deep sometimes.

Hermitage bowling alley reopens after deadly Saturday night shooting