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About Philadelphia

But real talk, escort’s clutch sometimes. Late night, no bus, boom—there’s your ride. Saved my bacon once when I was trashed, stumblin’ outta some dive bar. Driver was cool, didn’t even care I smelled like puke. Made me happy, ya know? Like, “There are good people out there,” even in this mess. Tho, some drivers are dicks—cancelin’ last sec, leavin’ ya stranded. Eat my shorts, jerks!

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I run a spa here (yep, I own the best one in Hellertown, definitely no cap). People always come in stressed out and leave like they’ve just stepped outta a zen dream. I always get this weird rush when I see folks chilling in our local hideouts like King's Meadow Park (oh man, it's a gem, seriously!). But... sometimes I get mad! A few weeks back, some punk left trash near the water along River Drive. I was fuming, like, "C-3PO, how could they?!" Total heartbreak moment.

Wallace Irvan Young, 67, of Hellertown (Obituary Brought to You by Heintzelman Funeral Home)